Holy Hilly Humid Hmissouri!

Ha, I had to change the spelling of Missouri just so I could keep the alliteration rocking in the title. Before I get to the burn in my legs and the hellishly steep hills, let me back up to Newton, Kansas.

There are three good reasons to love Kansas and never want to leave. In no particular order, they are Liz, Heidi, and Kate. Heidi and Liz let us stay with them for three nights in Newton, and they really made this trip memorable! They indulged my vegan pizza fantasy that I'd been dreaming up for miles, since somewhere in Colorado probably. So, Liz's friend Kate (a vegan!) came over and we had a big delicious homemade vegan pizza extravaganza with me acting as the primary chef. It was fantastic fun! By the way, Liz and Heidi are vegetarians, so that only raises the level on their cool meter. Good friends, good food, and good times: what more can a tired cyclist want in the middle of Kansas.

And why did we stay three nights you're wondering? Well, Paul and Dave and I decided to wait for the others to catch up, only to lose them again, but more on that later. Anyway, we told Liz and Heidi that we were waiting for the others to catch up, but really, we just wanted to hang out some more with them! I joked about moving in with them and had I known about the severity of the climbs in the Ozarks, I might really be residing in Newton, KS for the time being. I almost thought of turning around and going back, but there was no way I was going to climb back up some of those hills I came down!

Okay, I know you're dying for me to move past Newton already, but I have to briefly describe my first ever dumpster diving experience. The night before we left town, Heidi got us excited to go on a dumpster adventure behind the Hostess outlet for free bread. Somewhere around 11 pm, Dave, Paul, Kate, Heidi, Liz, and I all got on our bikes and pedaled over to the dumpster, only to find it empty, bummer! Then we pedaled around town having a good old time until we got to the Alco (a store very much like K-Mart), and we scavenged their dumpster. We found cartons upon cartons upon cartons of cigarettes. It was such a score I almost wished I smoke just so I could be that much more excited about it! We loaded up the rear baskets of Heidi's bike (which Dave was riding), and what a sight that was. I have some good photos. Before we left the next morning, I took a pack of Lucky Strikes and rolled them in my sleeve. I've been riding with them ever since, but since we've pretty much been rained on everyday, they've had to hang out in my handlebar bag until they can safely be rolled in my sleeve again. They definitely make me feel more hardcore, but don't Luckies always make one feel a little edgier?

Okay, now, moving on...from Newton, we met up with the others in the next town up the road, and planned to ride the 90 odd miles to Toronto Reservoir. Well, Kev and Nix fell back and Linus and Derek stopped in Eureka to eat, and Paul, Dave, an I rode ahead to Toronto. So, the others never showed up in Toronto (probably too many drinks in Eureka, as we've learned seems to be the new fad for that group. Needless to say, we haven't seen them since. Ah well, Paul, Dave, and I make a good team. Dave and I went swimming in Toronto Lake. It was pleasantly warm and we were already wet from riding in the rain all day, so why not jump in? I swam out to the buoy and back a few times until I thought I might drown from the fatigue in my arms. So then I did some water push ups off the swim bar (no pain, no gain!) Then Dave and I just splashed and dunked each other in shallow water like a couple of flirtatious pre-teens at the beach. What fun! Later that night, Paul and Dave left their food out on their bikes, so some raccoons had a good time raiding our camp. They ate some food, tore a hole in one of Paul's waterproof pannier covers, and put a hold in the side of Dave's tent after he stashed his food in there and gave up on chasing them away and went to sleep up by the bathrooms. Aside from the damage, they kept us up all night with all their rifling and fighting over the food treasures they had discovered. However, they did leave me alone. I'm convinced they could smell my vegan blood and wanted to do me no harm. Ha.

From Toronto, we rode 105 miles to Pittsburg, KS, which is right near the Missouri border. We had heard horro stories from other cyclists about how the drivers in Missouri hate cyclists and try to run them off the road for points. I was a little worried about what was ahead when we got yelled at at least 3 times and we were still a few miles from Missouri. However, it turns out that Missouri motorists have been incredibly patient and have waved kindly as they drive by.

Just before we got to Pittsburg, we met a buy named Brian who was riding in our direction, so he stuck with us. We also met a couple on a tandem going our direct. Their names are Marie and Adam and they were heading home to D.C. We got a hotel in Pittsburg due to a flood warning and rumors of more raccoons at the park, so we didn't see Marie and Adam that night, since they camped at the park. We did, however, run into Len at the hotel. He's an older guy that lives in San Francisco and he had ridden with us for about half a day back in Kansas. Apparently he caught up with us since we spent so much time in Newton! He said he'd been thinking about me and my endeavors (I had told him about Stanford) and he is so proud of me. What a nice guy! He rented a car and headed up to Kansas City to see some friends, so we may not see him again, but you never know...

From Pittsburg, we rode on to Ash Grove, MO and oh my did we hit some hills, pretty much as soon as we crossed the border. Some were quite steep, but still nothing like what was yet to come! When we got to Ash Grove, we rolled up to the city park to camp and who was there already set up, but Marie and Adam! We were talking and it turned out that they are originally from Ohio. This is CRAZY. Check out this conversation:

Karli: Where in Ohio?
Marie: Oh, just a small town in NE Ohio.
K: Try me.
M: Ok, Wadsworth, near Akron.
K: Oh, yes. I went to Stow.
M: Really? Wow, small world. When did you graduate?
K: 2000
M: Okay, you're two years younger than us.
K: Wait a minute...did you go to elementary and middle school in Wadsworth?
M: Yeah, we both did.
K: Did you know a family by the name of Smith (name changed to protect the innocent)
Adam: Yeah, I lived across the street from them growing up....
K: No way, that's my best friend from high school...

Woah, I never thought I'd meet people in some small town in Missouri on a bicycle that grew up across the street from one of my best friends. Wow! (So, Jeanine, Marie also knew who you are and Adam said to tell DJ that Adam from across the street when they were kids says hi)

Leaving Ash Grove the next day, Brian said he was going to go off route to a bike shop and he'd catch us at our destination later, but he never showed up, thank goodness!!! We'd been trying to figure out how to ditch that guy since we first met him. He was just extremely immature and made the most inappropriate jokes at all the wrong times, so then they were even more inappropriate than they would have been if he'd had better timing. He was also always talking loudly and obnoxiously on his cell phone, even while riding. Sadly, we couldn't keep up with Marie and Adam. They cruise on that tandem, and they have to be back to work in D.C. in something like 16 days.

From Ash Grove, we found ourselves to be a trio again as we rolled into Hartville. That was a hell of a day. That was the first day all trip I found myself thinking, what the hell am I doing here. Why am I not at home, in bed, sleeping, and earning money at a job? Then I started thinking about how much I love my mom, probably because I thought I might die on some of those hills and never see her again. Just kidding. I just really love you, mom! Then (not to belittle my love for my mom) I started thinking about how much I love cold watermelon, but I think that's just because it was so hot and humid. On the last climb into Hartville, it was so steep, I wanted to jump off the bike and cry, but I didn't. I just collapsed on the courthouse lawn when we got to Hartville. We also met the local Princess Betty. She said everyone in town calls her Little Betty, but she prefers Princess Betty. She sure was a character.

From Hartville, we got an early start to Eminence. The last 5 miles of that ride were the roughest with some steep climbs and a lovely thunderstorm. The pouring rain made some of the descents scary for sure. I just thought, please don't die, please don't die. And I didn't die! Because there was a severe weather warning, we sat at a cafe and then went to the grocer in Eminence. It was still raining so this guy offered us a ride back to camp. I said sure, but soon regretted it when I got in the car and he was smoking a cigarette, drinking a can of Bud Light in a coozie, and then let us know that he had no windshield wipers, but he didn't need to see since he'd lived and worked in that town for 20 years. I said, good, we're staying less than a quarter mile away, so in no time we were home safe.

From Eminence, we rode to Centerville which was only 40 miles, but our toughest stretch of the Ozarks. There were probably about 3 really horribly steep climbs. There was definitely one where I wanted to jump off the bike, puke, and then keep pedaling. Luckily, I was able to puke without getting off the bike. Just kidding, I didn't puke or get off the bike. I toughed it out and made it! Oh, but my legs were screaming alright. I know that's a common expression, but I really heard them. They were screaming, "Rent a car, you fool!" Dave said he couldn't believe I made it up some of those hills because he was struggling and he has a much wider range of gears than I do with my compact double.

Centerville to Farmington, where I'm writing from right now wasn't so bad. Some hills, but nothing crazy steep. Hopefully, the steep ones won't hit us again for a while. Those hills in the Ozarks were like riding from Decatur to Little Five Points on Mclendon only 1000 times worse. Or like riding up the Blue Ridge Parkway from Asheville to Devil's Courthouse, only 100 times worse, or like riding PCH near Malibu or between Santa Cruz and Davenport, only 100 times worse, or like the first two days riding from Atlanta to Savannah (hey Joey, Huan, Trystan, Abbey where are you with your SUV when I need you?), only 100 times worse, or like riding up Lombard St. in San Francisco, only that's probably 100 times worse!

Today was our first sunny rain-free day in a long time. We had pretty much been rained on since we left Newton and everything smells like wet funk. It kind of reminds me of Outward Bound and makes me feel a little homesick for Cedar Rock. (hey Lisa and any other OB friends who might be reading this!) I've been praying for the rain to move to Atlanta because I hear that all the lovely people there could sure use it!

Tomorrow, we cross into Illinois and we'll hang out in Chester where my good friend Dave is driving down to visit from St. Louis. I can't wait to see him!

Thanks for all your thoughts. I love you all!